UNCATEGORIZED TALE
Why is it so hard to relinquish the past? Why do some get stuck from what was, instead of just living life in the present? Why is goodbye such a difficult word to say to someone who once had been a substantial part of our lives? Why is letting go such a complicated thing to do? These are just some of the questions we keep asking ourselves over and over again; yet fear the answers to it. It is indeed true that the truth does really hurt once it gets you. That is why most of the time we deny it, even if it keeps banging on our doors and in our faces. This pains most of us – denying the truth and living a life in our own web of deception, we pretend to be happy just to mask the pain we feel inside. Often denial is our way of protecting ourselves – to deny and censor the truth is better than insulting our human ego through acceptance. Nevertheless, can we really deny the truth? Can we keep on hiding ourselves from the veracity of the circumstances? You can, but you can never run from it – like a dreadful dream it will haunt you for the rest of your life until you learn to accept it. No matter how hard we try to deny the truth, we can never change it; it will remain as it is. However, acceptance is such a heavy and profound word for most us, and it is often a difficult act to do especially at times when we are deeply hurt by someone we treasure or of by something, we do not have control of. I always had a difficult time accepting certain truths in my life and often like most people do I deny and try to hide from it, cover up the pain through pretensions – but like all they say the truth is the one thing you can never escape from no matter how hard you try. Let me tell you a familiar story, which most of us can associate certain events in our lives that has something to do with Truth in the Eyes of Deception.
No specific details are mentioned in the story; the readers are free to envision their own perception of where each scene takes place.
*Princess Aeneah/Aeneah: read as Ynah
*Earthly nickname Aen: read as Ayn
Epilogue
Seen from the Earth as a bright morning and evening star, Venus existed. Apart from the knowledge of humankind, planet Venus is more than just the brightest object in the sky, in this second smallest planet from the sun, there existed a race apart from our own. Life begun here when the Trojan Princess Venice met and fell in love with the god of love, Cyd. The two chose this second planet from the sun and built their own kingdom here, they decided to give the name Venus to their new home, which meant the home of love and beauty. Crafted in his own powers, Cyd transformed planet Venus into a picturesque and lovely abode, magically protecting it from the Sun’s fiery rays. The Venetians, the people living in Venus, lived here in harmony and peace with one another, they could not ask for anything else, for a paradise like this was incomparable to anything they could imagine.
Though Queen Venice was pleased to have such a beautiful kingdom, she could not feel a total sense of contentment within her. Not until the day she conceived their first daughter, Princess Aeneah. The birth of their little princess brought unexplainable bliss to both the King and Queen, and the people of Venus rejoiced the birth of their future ruler.
As Princess Aeneah was growing up, she turned out to be as stunning and charming as her mother, Queen Venice and as strong willed as her father, King Cyd. Years passed and it was time for the Princess to choose her prince, the news spread through the different kingdoms and as anticipated princes from different lands came to the palace. As each prince offered their royal gifts to her, the Princess seem to have lost interest to any of them, to any prince for that matter. The King was concerned of his daughter’s disinterest in choosing a prince.
“Princess, didn’t any of the princes catch your attention? They are all fine young men, and they have traveled far just to see you my dear.”
“They all say the same thing father, one and the same. It is like they all think alike. I want my prince to be different; I want him to be unique. I cannot feel anything special to all the princes that I have met; I would know if I have met my Prince, I would feel that he would be the one for me. I would know it. You always said that when you met mother.” She flashed her father a sweet smile
She just knew that somewhere out there, her prince existed, the right one where she righteously belongs.
As the Princess was growing up, she grew tired of all the special attention she was getting. Tired of being all caged up in the palace, bored of the usual things all of the men say to her, the gifts she receives, just everything. Whenever she feels jaded, she would stare up to the sky every night and wished that life would take a different turn for her. And every time she makes that wish, there was always this star that shines the brightest among the others. Whenever she gazed upon it, she felt as if it was speaking to her in some way.
The next night she asks her father about that certain star.
At her veranda...
“Oh that my dear, is the star we call Earth, not a very pleasant place to live though. I’ve seen how my power got messy in that place, people end up being hurt instead, I often wonder why though, that is not what Love intends to do.”
“What do you mean hurt father?”
“Hurt my dear is when you feel pain, but don’t worry you won’t be experiencing any of that here, Love is what makes Venus a paradise, that is why people here live in peace and harmony.”
“What does pain mean father? Doesn’t Love exist on Earth?”
“Now, now.. Enough of all the questions. Why don’t you accompany your mother to the dining table and let’s all have dinner.”
Her father always has that habit of leaving her hanging with questions, especially when it comes to the outside world. She gazed up again in the sky, looked at the same star and said, “I wonder why father said those things about you. And what is pain anyway? Someday I want to know what pain is, I know you hold the answers to all my questions. Someday I would go to earth and find out myself. Wish I could just find someway how to.”
That night when she was sleeping, a bright light suddenly surrounded her. One thing she did not know is that when your father is a god, anything can happen. When she wished upon that star, the cosmic power of the sky heard her and is now making her wish happen. Unconsciously wrapped up in her sleep, the princess had no idea of what was now happening around her, for in a split second she will be brought to a place where she would be starting to experience everything she wished for, life indeed is now taking a different turn for her.
Chapter 1
When Princess Aeneah woke up, she felt a little different from usual. She stared through her window, looked outside, and felt that something was different, that she was different somehow, but she could not quite put her finger into it.
When she landed on earth, the princess’ memories of Venus and everything about it has been replaced by Earthly knowledge, which was all part of the cosmic powers doing, on Earth Princess Aeneah was just Aeneah.
Though she was the daughter of the god of Love in Venus, Aeneah was no typical girl you’d ever meet on Earth. Though she still possessed her mother’s charm and good looks, she’s the reserved type of person; aloof towards people, this is the reason why most of the time she gets wrong impressions from other people. Some think that she’s snob, insensitive and bitter. Not the usual personality you would expect from someone who came from the planet of love and harmony, but I guess that is part of the cosmic powers doing to let her find what she truly seek for. Along with her coming to earth, she also possessed some of what every human being have, a family, a house, a job, friends, and a history (don’t ask, it’ll just make this much longer than it already is).
She was still staring at her window, when her alarm clock rang, she got up and opened her window, the morning breeze blew through her face, “such a sunny day.. for work.. ugh! I hate how hot the sun gets when I get to work.” Then she went to the bathroom, took a bath, and got dressed for work. In here, the princess lived as an artist; she got a good apartment, and had a good source of income - needless to say, living life was indeed not hard for her. Except for one thing, she was never into a stable relationship. Not that any of the men didn’t notice her or anything, but she was either too busy for work or is just avoiding to go into a serious relationship whenever she has the chance to. She just couldn’t find the right guy, every man she met all end alike. Routinely, they all bore her in the end; none of them seem to keep up her interest. None of them seem to know what she really wants.
Things got worse when both of her parents died in a car accident, 2 years ago. She buried herself to work, which made having a stable relationship harder for her to find, yet alone keep one.
Whenever she feels the emptiness of being alone, she would push herself to be somewhere else. Somewhere where she could pretend to be happy to conceal her fear of being alone, where the truth of the matter cease to exist. In her fabricated world of deception, pain was the one thing she never allowed herself to experience. Especially when her parents died, she made a promise to herself that she will not let anyone hurt her, or cause her any pain for that matter. Through her passion for art, she painted every thing that burdens her, every sorrow of emotion she forbids herself to feel; her works of art burdened every negative aspect of her life. That is why people often think that she is insensitive, strict at times; hard to reach and hard to understand. Still she continued to live her life this way, she did not mind what other people think of her, and it was a choice she made for herself. Until the day she unexpectedly met Khali, the one person that would soon turn her world upside down.
Khali was introduced to her through a common friend; he was what most people call the “dangerous” type of guy. She didn’t have any clue of what his past was like, or why he was known as the dangerous one either. She hated it when best friend, Lizy, starts to hook her up with some guy, she never seem to stop. Lizy had hooked her up with most of the guys she dated in the past, and most of them ended up the same – never passed through having that second date.
“This ones going to end up like the other ones you’ve hooked me up with in the past Lizy, and stop trying to find Mr. Right for me will you? ‘Coz he doesn’t exist.” she called up her friend Lizy when she left her a message about dating Khali.
“Ok, ok, but this one’s the last one Aen promise, just give it a try please? Besides he’s really nice and funny, I’m sure you’ll like him.”
“Weren’t you the one who told me that he doesn’t really have a good reputation when it comes to dating girls?”
“Yeah, I said that didn’t I.. But that was before I met him and got to know him in person, and you’d be as surprised as I am Aen, please just give it a try, one date?”
“If you like him that much why don’t you date him?”
“Hahaha! Very funny Aen, I would but Todd and I are dating again... And you need someone to lighten you up a bit, you’ve been working so hard lately.”
“Oh, so you’re back with him huh.. So what else is new.. Ok, Ok, I’ll go out with this Khali guy, one date and that’s it. And I’m not doing this coz I need some guy make my life happy, I am happy with my life, I’m doing this coz you ask me to.”
“Ok, whatever Aen. You’d thank me for this in the future. Heheheh.. Talk to you later k? Todd’s coming over.”
“Ok, bye.” She hanged up, She still couldn’t believe she let Lizy talked her into doing it, again. “One date and that’s it. What else could go wrong?” she told herself.
That night she met up with Khali in some Asian restaurant, she dressed up casually, good thing he did not chose some fancy restaurant, she hated dining in one of those. She spotted him sitting in a corner table; he clearly fits Lizy’s description; she approached him.
“Khali right?” she asks, he is charming & attractive as what Lizy said
“Aeneah? Wow your more beautiful than what Lizy describe” he stood up and held up his hand in a handshake.
She took it and shook his hand, “The “wow” compliment - this one’s going to really end up like the other ones beforreeeee...” She thought. She sat down and they had dinner, he’s really a talker she thought, but she enjoyed listening to him. Lizy was right he is funny, they had a couple of laughs while having dinner.
She watched him while he was talking, “He does have that dangerous look in him, kinda makes him ruggedly attractive though. But I still haven’t changed my mind, one date, and that’s it. Just do it like the ones before Aen, the others Lizy set you up with in the past, how hard could it get?” Their night ended and he walked her home.
“I really enjoyed having dinner with you” Khali said when they stopped by her apartment.
“Yeah, me too... Thank you for dinner.. I’d better get inside… It’s getting kinda late… and I’ve…. still got work tomorrow.”
“So I’ll call you tomorrow?” he asks
“uhmm.. sure” she hesitated at first but she still gave him her number, then she went inside her apartment, and the night ended. Their date was not as bad as she expected it to be, she found it rather fun actually. Something about him made her curious, he wasn’t that bad of a date either, and she enjoyed talking with him, maybe that was the good part, she just enjoyed talking with him.
The next day Khali called her, she was hesitant at first, “what if he asks for another date? Ugh! I could not get through this again.” Her phone continues to ring, she pushed the receiver button.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Aeneah, it’s me Khali.”
“Oh, yeah. How you’ve been?”
They talked for about an hour before she finally she hanged up. She enjoyed the conversation she just had with him, funny to think though she never enjoyed talking this much to any of the men she dated before. It was either she was the only one talking, or she was bored of them talking. But with Khali, it was different. “You seem to know your track Khali, surprising for a guy such as yourself.” She still could not believe she just gave in to having that second date, the thought amused her, – and a smile formed on her face.
Months passed these two became good friends; he visited often, which became a pleasant thing for her, he is really unlike the other ones she had met before. One thing that puzzled her was that though they have been spending so much time with one another, Khali still hasn’t proposed to her (expressed his feelings). In spite of that, she still enjoyed the times she spent being with him, all she knows is that he says the right words at the right time, made her laugh and smile at the right moment, made each day brighter and lovely than before, made each sunrise and sunset more momentous than the usual. Made living much more meaningful than it already was. Their special relationship continued to grow as the months pass by and along with it a special feeling blossomed in her heart – a feeling she tried to suppress and deny but still enjoyed the sensation it brings. It was so good to be true that sometimes it scares her that he is becoming an innate part of her, consuming half of who she is. She tried to get rid of these thoughts, to the truth that maybe she is falling for him, and that she is falling harder than she could imagine. She have never felt this way with any other guy before, not like this, it was too intense for her to handle, and that was when she started to avoid him. She changed her number and transferred to another apartment, in case he goes up looking for her there. She warned Lizy not to tell him about this, and she did not explain why she was avoiding him, Lizy did what she was told. One thing she knew about Aeneah is that when she says, “don’t”, she really means it.
But, as days and months pass by thoughts of him continue to linger on her mind, and the more she conceals it, the more it pains her and no matter how hard she tries to cover up the pain by giving a million reasons why she should forget him, the one reason why she shouldn’t still weigh much heavier than the million ones. This was the one true thing that she started to accept, that she could no longer conceal her pretensions; that the more she does the bigger it gets. Even in her fabricated world, the place where she used to go to protect herself, she could no longer suppress the very fact that keeps on haunting her. Even through painting, she could not portray the adversity of her dilemma. She realized that he has indeed become an innate part of her, consuming half of her, and completing who she is at the same time, she started to believe that he might be the one meant for her, there were no other reason – she just knew, and she have never felt this way with anyone before. He made her happy in ways she could not put in plain words, she just felt one simple thing, - she has fallen madly in love with him.
She decided to look for him and tell him she was sorry for leaving just like that; she asked Lizy his number but she said she left it in her directory at home, and told her that she’ll give it to her the moment she gets home. She was glad Lizy didn’t ask her so many questions. She was excited at the thought of seeing him, talking to him again like the way they used to. Now, she doesn’t have to be afraid anymore, she knows Khali can protect her from everything that she’s afraid of. She was walking through Marylebone Avenue, when these thoughts danced through her mind, then a familiar voice spoke not far behind her. “That voice, I know that voice..” ..” as she turns around, anxious and eager to see the person who speaks the voice of melody in her heart, that was when she saw him, Khali, standing sideways in front of a store just a few feet ahead of her, he was talking to someone on the phone. Her heart leapt in delight with the very sight of him, then everything around them started to fade; he was the only one she could see now. She took a few steps towards him, her heart started to beat faster and she could feel the rush of blood run through her veins with her every step. When she took a second step, that was when the most surprising thing happened, a woman came out of the store, grasped Khali’s hand and kissed him. As she takes footing towards them, puzzled at what she is seeing, the two of them started to walk away, the woman’s hand grasping his. “Is he with her?” She could not find the words to explain this; the heartbreaking truth confronted her, He has someone else – He belongs to somebody now. “No, this is just a bad dream.” She keeps on telling herself, but as seconds pass, the more it became real to her. The woman holding the hand of the man he loves, the two of them walking away leaving her behind. She could not move an inch, standstill, her eyes still on him, she watched the scene unfolding in front of her as everything around started to became hazy and in a snap the people who faded out a couple of moments ago, became real again.
This grief-stricken moment shattered everything she had, everything she ever believed in, every inch of who she was. It left her broken and wounded, she have never felt so alone and dispirited her entire life, she wanted to run, as far as she could but she could not bring herself to – suddenly a feeling of emptiness enveloped her. In that moment tears started to fall from her eyes, as the painful truth intensifies the more it brought her tears. She did not know how long she was standing there in tears, it felt like forever. To where she was, the glow of the setting sun caught her eye, she could no longer take the increasing weakness of her mind and heart yet along her body, she fell on her knees and fainted, along with the dimness of the place her eyes started to rest. Before her body fell into the ground, something or rather someone caught her but she already passed out to even notice.
Chapter 2
The glow of dusk caught his eye, he hated how he always has to be in stores he doesn’t like to be in, that was why he prefers to stay out while his girlfriend do all the shopping and he was glad that she finally finished this one out. While they were walking, something else caught his eye aside from the glow of the setting sun, something, or someone? As he turned his gaze he saw a man catch a woman fainting, when he had a clearer look of the woman’s face, from where he was standing, blood started to rush to his face, he was stunned at the very sight of her face. “Aeneah?”, “Is that really her?”, he wanted to run to her that instant. But his girlfriend gestured him to hurry along they still have appointments to attend to, when he took a second look towards where she saw her, he could only see people coming and going, not a sight of her.
“Are you coming or not? What’s gotten into you?” his girlfriend asks.
“Nothing, I thought I saw someone I knew”.
When he got home, thoughts of seeing her again still flooded his mind. “Was that really her? And who was that guy that held her?”, “Was that why she never answered any of my calls? The reason why she suddenly disappeared is because she’s with another guy?”. The questions just keep on coming; he wanted to scream his heart out. “Why do I have to see her now? Why now!”. Plainly, he was angry that he saw her again after she bafflingly disappeared and stopped answering his calls and messages without any reason. Until now it still puzzles him why they just stopped talking, stopped seeing each other. He tried everything to reach her, when he found out she moved out of her apartment he asked Lizy about it but she didn’t tell him anything either.
He pondered on the experiences of his past with her..
It was still fresh on his mind, the memories of the past he had with her, how could he forget – she was the one thing he ever wanted all his life. That was why when she unknowingly disappeared, it left him dumbfounded of the reason why she left. Everything they had in the past was all to perfect to fit a fairytale story, but like an unexpected ending, his fairytale ended when his maiden left him before he could say his happily ever after.
The special relationship he had with her was incomparable; the unexplainable feeling of bliss he feels when he was with her was hard to forget. He was undoubtedly falling for her. He had thoughts about pursuing her, but the fear of rejection terrified him. She was like no other girl he ever met, she was different. He often asks Lizy why she hadn’t had any lasting relationships in the past and why she dumps a guy even before having a second date. Lizy always says the same answer, “Aeneah doesn’t believe Mr. Right exists.” This thought frightened him even more, that was why he never got courage to tell her how he truly feels. “I could never be the right one for her, she’s just too good for me. There were a bunch of good guys that tried to pursue her yet failed, what chance could a guy like me get?”
When she suddenly disappeared, thoughts of her finding someone kept on rattling his mind. He tried calling her, leaving like a million messages just to keep in touch, but there was still nothing. “Maybe she found someone else.” He tells himself, “I thought we had a connection, how could she just walk away from everything we had? Maybe this is all my fault; I should have told her how I truly feel when I had the chance to!” He tried everything to forget her, but his efforts failed. How could you forget someone you’ve already learned to love. He admits that he’s no prince charming for her, but he loved her truly like any prince would and he still loves her until now. Nevertheless, it is all too late now, he had his chance, and he never took it. He turned his dismays to vices, dating one girl to another just to fill the emptiness he felt, until he met, Tish, his current girlfriend. They started to go out, though he could not be with the one he truly loves much as he wants to, the new relationship he had with Tish filled in the longing he feels for Aeneah. The first month in a relationship eased away the pain he felt, another month went and they started to have petty arguments that turned to constant fights with one another that just keep on getting worse everyday. He wanted to end the relationship but he could not find the means as to how to, and every time she tries telling Tish about it, she’d begged him not to leave her and that she would end her life if he left. Until he decided to just smooth things and just be with her, “it’s better to have Tish, maybe we could still work things out. Leaving her would just make things worse than it already is.” However, he never stopped thinking about Aeneah with each passing day, he was still holding on to her somehow, though he did not know of the reason why.
He grew weary thinking about everything that happened in his past, until it finally put him to slumber.
That night, he dreamt that he was walking through a dim place where he finds her (Aeneah), slumped, in tears. He could only watch from a distance as her one true love swam in tears, alone in such a dark place like this. He wanted to run to her and hug her tight, take her hand and wipe those tears away – put all the hurt behind and bring out all the love he had kept for her for such a long time now. But he could not move himself towards her, something is stopping him from doing so. He called out to her, screamed her name, but she did not turn her gaze. “Why can’t she hear me? and why can’t I move towards her?”.
Then someone from behind her emerged, it was a man, he could not quite see his face, then the man started to move towards her and wiped away her tears, then they started to walk away. He tried calling out to her, but it was futile. He felt more empty and lost. “How could life take such an appalling turn”? How could he not do anything while the love of his life lies ahead of him in tears, and now a man is taking her away from him. He could only watch as they walked away, as the shadows of darkness surfaced he finally lost sight of them completely. “Why was she crying?” he asks himself. Then everything was a blur. His dream ended in a blur.
He awoke, bewildered by the dream he just had. Even in his unconscious thoughts, he could not deny the truth that he still loves her. “But why was she crying?”, this left him mystified. Today was the first time he has ever seen her again – the face that captured and enchanted him not so along ago, the face of the woman he had longed for.
“How could someone be just a few step closer yet so hard so reach?” he asks himself as he remembers the dream he had. Within a voice told him, “Sometimes the closest things we have are the harder to reach, because of their depth that we find ourselves going through an endless tunnel, a never-ending journey that compels each one of us to embark on. Though this journey holds so many uncertainties we still take it because we have the need to and we cannot resist the force that is pulling us towards it.”
With that thought, Khali said to himself, “Foolish was I to think that there would still be a you and me, now that everything is changing and you might have someone in your life, I could only hope now that I would be strong enough to take this all in. I could only utter these words that kept me going through when you left: You never lost me. Though I never understood why you really left, I gave myself to you the day I realized I’ve fallen in love with you - I was yours before, and I am still yours until now. I may not have told you how I truly feel, in my heart you would always be the girl who took my heart away.” “I guess I just have to accept the fact that you may have someone in your life now, and that you were never mine, and never will be.” And with those last words, a tear fell from his eyes, one that excruciatingly broke his heart.
Chapter 3
When she awoke, tears still burned her eyes. She carefully opened her eyes and saw that she was in a room, she stared in the window and saw that it was night outside, “So it was true then, I didn’t dream everything that had just happened…..Khali, how could you..” as she was contemplating on what had happened, and when tears were just about to fall again, a hand gestured a white handkerchief in front of her. When she raised her head up she saw a man standing in front of her, she could not quite see his face, she still felt a little dizzy. When she hobbled herself to stand, the man helped her and held her hand in place. That was then when she had a good picture of his face, he looked kinda familiar.
“Where am I? and who are you?” she asks
“I’m Tom, and you’re in my house.. Don’t worry nothing happened. You passed out a couple of hours ago, in Marylebone Avenue. I didn’t know what else to do so I brought you here, I hope you’re not angry.” His eyes were kind and gentle that in some way it gave her a sense of comfort for winding up here.
“No I’m not and thank you for what you did. My name is Aeneah by the way.” She got her coat and things and asks him if she could go home now.
“Oh sure, let me take you home if you don’t mind, it’s awfully late and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you on your way home.”
“Uhhh.. Okay sure Tom, and thanks again.”
He brought her home safely and they both bid their goodbyes, she thanked him again for the last time.
In her apartment, she still could not stop thinking about what she just saw today. “Two months and he already found someone else; I thought you were different Khali. I never should have allowed myself to fall for you, I was wrong to believe that you could have been the one for me. I guess your past speaks of who you truly are, I should’ve have known better. I knew you were dangerous the very day I first saw you, I never should have led myself into your trap.” She called up Lizy to tell her about what had happened, but she was surprised that she said she already knew, that Khali already has a girlfriend.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before Lizy?” she asks angrily
“Because I thought it wouldn’t be much of an issue for you. After you decided not to return his calls, or answer his messages or even see him again, I thought you wanted everything done with the guy. I know Aen, I’ve hooked you up with a couple of guys in the past, but Khali was different Aen, he really likes you, I think he even loves you. I have never seen him so happy with anyone else before, not when he was with you. I was glad that you even gave him the chance to have that second date; I thought things were going terrific with you guys, but I was stunned when I heard that you weren’t answering his messages or returning his calls, you even transferred to another apartment just to avoid him. He was the only one, amongst the rest, that you ever gave part of your time with, I thought you liked the guy, Aen. What happened?”
“I just.. I don’t know.. At least now I know that he really isn’t worth it.” she sobbed
“Well whatever happened to you guys back there, I just want you to know that he really got messed up when you left him Aen, I’ve never seen him so depressed.”
“He doesn’t look so depressed when I saw him today.. I’ll call you back later.” She hanged up before Lizy could utter another word. She stared into nothingness, “How could he do this? If what Lizy said is true, why didn’t he tell me he loves me?” she could only listen to the resounding silence that surrounds her, she prayed that the night would not have its bitter end, so that she may not face tomorrow with the woeful truth that she had just lost her one true love.
The next day she went to the mausoleum to visit her parent’s tomb; this was the usual place she goes to whenever she wants contemplate on things. She feels that through here, her parents are guiding her to sort out her thoughts about things. She was surprised, when she got to her parents’ tomb, to find someone putting some flowers beside their tomb. When she got closer, she saw that it was the same guy that helped him the other day, Tom, the one who caught her when she lost consciousness.
“Tom? What are you doing here?” she puzzlingly asks
“Oh, Aeneah I was just visiting my godmother and godfather, I haven’t seen them since they passed away, my Dad use to bring me to their house whenever he plays a game of golf with my godfather here.”
“Tommy? Oh my god, is that you?!” she exclaims, she has never seen him since they were still six year olds. Whenever their dads play golf, Tommy would come over and she would play with him, but then they moved out when she turned twelve, she hasn’t seen him again after that.
“Nuttie? I mean Aeneah? Is that really you? No wonder your name sounded familiar when you told me that the other day.”
“Hahaha.. You haven’t forgotten the name you use to call me.. Now I know why you looked familiar when I first saw you. It’s so nice to see you again Tommy.. I mean Tom.” She smiled, and they started talking about their childhood memories as if it was just like yesterday.
Tom and her got close, and he was indeed pleased to see her child-hood “crush” grow up to be such a stunning and charming woman. Her beauty always caught his eyes as a child, but now it captivated him ever more. Months passed their friendship continued to grow, she started to smile and laugh again, – there were radiant glows in her eyes where tears had been, she was happy. Unknowingly Tom fell in love with her in each passing moment. She felt it and she was grateful for his love but she still has not forgotten the pain of her past, of the wasted love she had for Khali. Khali left so much space unfilled when she lost him; even with Tom’s love for her, she still felt that there were still some empty spaces.
She stills remembers the day Tom expressed his feelings for her. “I know we only had begun to know each other for a couple of months now, but I want you to know that ever since as a child I have always admired you with much innocence, and now that I got the chance to get to know you better, you never fail to captivate me with your beauty and uniqueness. My feelings just got deeper and deeper for you and I could not find any reason not to fall for you. When we were still young, I was always willing to fight and protect you from every bully kid that try to cross you on your way home or climb the highest tree just to get your favorite cat down, now I’m willing to give you not just my Love, Aeneah, but every part of who I am. I cannot promise to give you the world, but I’m willing to build my world with you, if you would give me the chance to. I know this all might be too soon for you, and I’m willing to wait. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you.” In her room, while looking out on her window, thoughts flooded her mind. “Maybe Tom is right, I’ve taken enough risks in my journey of finding someone whom I thought would fulfill and satiate my very existence, someone worth giving my heart and love to, someone who deserves me, someone who I belong to, only to find out that that someone cease to exist anymore. I have dealt with too much pain, time has helped me ease the pain, and it was Tom that helped me find myself again. I could not have done it without him.” She was unsure of how she truly feels about the thought of loving again, the memories of her past still has some open wounds she needs to deal with. Even words are not enough to illustrate how she truly feels now. People often get tired of loosing, tired of feeling pain, tired of the shit that they go through, that is why most choose to move on, choose to forget and choose to give up the fight, choose to bid sad goodbyes, choose to live, choose to love – again. But can another man’s love fill in one’s lost love?
She made her choice, a choice that made her feel at peace within, a choice, which helped her accept the very fact she kept on questioning before. Of why she had let herself be hurt by someone, of why the one person she believed in almost tore her apart. She felt better now, a little cracked, but better, and he was thankful that Tom had found her the time when she felt lost, confused, and alone in this world, a world that never gave her the chance to be with the one she loves.
She accepted the many changes in her life, enjoyed every moment of freedom life brings. She faced every bit of reality’s existence, the truth it bequeaths, every pain it conveys, everything she was afraid to feel, recognize, and bear before - everything she ever denied to herself. Everything she wanted to conceal herself from whenever she was afraid, including the complexity of being in love, of loving and love itself.
She started to go out often now, experience the leisure of being and living in this world. She started to gain more friends, which made life a lot lighter to live. Lizy was happy seeing her go through all these positive changes in her life. She continued painting, expressing not only her pain and sorrows but also of life and of the freedom of having the privilege to live in it.
Tom and her started dating for three months now, seriously dating. He became a significant part of all of these immense changes in her life, which is why today would be an extra special day for him. She would delight him with a day full of surprises. She cooked breakfast, not really the usual thing she does, but she did it with much effort, which pleased him anyway. She then took him to the park and prepared a home cooked picnic meal, which some of her friends helped her to do.
Tom was pleased seeing her do all of this, he was happy seeing the glow in her eyes, Aeneah is like a blossoming bud ready to face the splendor of spring. Tom watched her unpack their picnic basket; he had always viewed her as a beautiful flower, so fragile and attractively adorned by its lovely petals, something you’d be afraid to pick from where it’s rooted because of the fear of damaging its delicacy, but brings contentment to your eyes and bliss to your soul. Like a bud that takes time to bloom and leaf out, he was amazed by the complexity of her being. He could never explain why he had never laid eyes on any other woman again the day she had fallen in his arms five of months ago, he was grateful that he was the one that caught her when she fainted. And he never did let go of her from that moment on, “I know she still thinks of Khali, I envy him because of her love for him but I pity him for not having the courage to fight for her, though I often wonder why he did not, she never tells me anything about her past, I guess talking about it doesn’t change the fact that her past hurt her deeply. But I’m glad that she’s still here.. with me and I hope she’s as grateful as I am of having her.” His thoughts were interrupted when a child’s ball hit their table; he gave the ball to the little boy and helped her unpack their basket.
“I’ll get us some drinks, I forgot to put these in the chiller, I’ll be right back” she said as she held some of their bottled drinks.
“Ok, I’ll be here, always have and always will be.” He smiled, she smiled back, and she started to walk to buy their drinks.
As she strolled towards the park...
“I’ve never seen the sun shine so brightly as today, not since the days when..” her thoughts were interrupted when someone bumped her and knocked her off her feet – and when she got hold of the guy’s hand and got up she was startled by what she saw, it was Khali, “days when I was with you.” Her thought finishes. They haven’t seen each other since that in the store, 9 months ago. Both were as surprised as the other, no words came out from their mouths, only their eyes speaks of what they truly want to say to one another.
“Aeneah? My god, she’s still as beautiful as I remember her to be” Khali thought
“Khali.. Of all places, of everything that has happened. Still the world turns and beckons us to cross paths.” Aeneah thought as she watched his eyes gaze upon hers.
As if the world is starting to fade away, that only both of them existed and nothing else mattered, that some unknown force conspires them to be in the same place at the same time. Time and space were of no importance at this very moment, as if each other’s soul has finally found what they were seeking for. Her heart started to beat faster like the way it did when she saw him in front of the store. As if the chase of finding someone has finally come to an end. His eyes spoke right through hers, and no words could portray the language it articulates. At that moment when their eyes met, they both felt the fulfillment they were both seeking for, questions that they both have for one another never to seem to matter anymore, at that moment they just both felt complete in each others presence, -one, - their broken pieces filled the other’s empty spaces.
She spoke first, “Hey… how you’ve been…? Haven’t… seen.. you.. for quite a long time now.” Why do you have to appear now? why now that I was starting to learn to live life.. without you….
“I’m… Good… you?” he stutters, trying to find the right words to say.
Say something damn it! say your sorry, or say that you still love her!
“I’m Fine,. so you here with someone?” ask him if he does love you! Tell him why you suddenly left!
“yeah.. uhh.. my wife… and you?” he guessed. Ask her why she never called you back! Why she suddenly left, ask her now or you’ll never get the chance to!
“oh…, yeah he’s over there waiting for our drinks..” Khali caught a glimpse of a man unpacking a picnic basket. ”Speaking of drinks, I’d better get going… It was.. uhm.. nice seeing you again..” He’s married?!
“oh, ah okay.. it was nice seeing you too.. take care..” How stupid! You shouldn’t have asked her, now you just knew she really is with someone. Don’t go yet, can we just talk? Tell her you want to talk…
She smiled, he smiled back and as they walk their separate ways, behind each other backs, their minds spoke what each heartbeat conveyed.
“you could have told me you already found some guy..”
“was I so wrong to believe in you?”
“I suffered a lot when you left”
“It almost tore me apart when I found you…..with her”
“Tish could never replace you”
“Tom helped me mend my broken pieces…”
“You should have told me the reason why you stopped answering my messages, the reason why you left. I wouldn’t have hold on to you this long. If only you could have just told me...”
“You could have asked me, when you had the chance.. I thought you were the one I was waiting for my whole life... Why didn’t you just tell me you love me then.. ”
“I guess you’re happy with him now...”
“I hope she can make you happy as much as I want you to be...”
The soft morning breeze blew in their direction, as if taking away the sorrows of their thwarted hearts, dispersing it into the wind.
She came back a couple of minutes later with some cold bottled drinks.
“Hey, that was kinda long to buy some drinks, got caught up in traffic?” he humors
“Sorry it took so long, i.. Uh.. just bumped into an old friend.. you thirsty?” she offers him a bottled drink
“Really? whO? Why didn’t you invite your friend to join us?” he takes the bottle and pops it open.
“Just an old friend, from someplace I met before.. He was with.. his family.. so I didn’t bother inviting him.. and besides this was suppose to be your Day, we’re suppose to spend it my way and I intend to just spend it only with you.” She flashes him a sweet gleeful smile.
“Thank you for doing all of this” he said to her
“This is one just my way of saying thank you for helping me.. From the day you caught me in your arms and for just being there for me, for never giving up on me.” She felt good saying all of this to him, and with that, she gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
But, in the back of her mind she still thinks of Khali, that moment they had a couple of minutes ago. “What was that?”, “I’ve never felt that kind of serenity since the days I was with him, and why did I suddenly felt it again when he looked right into my eyes.” “Are you really happy… with her Khali? Would Tom really make me happy?” She gazed at Tom.
Not far across from where they are, Khali was intently looking at them. He saw the kiss Aeneah gave this man, a kiss from the girl he loves, a kiss that could have been his, and the girl that could’ve been his; the girl that took his heart away only to leave him broken and bleeding. He could not fathom why he is hurting now, why he had not felt that way a couple of minutes ago when they bumped into each other, why he did not feel the pain he’s feeling right now seeing her kiss another guy, why he just felt a sense of serenity and completeness when her eyes gazed upon his, why no words were needed to be said to explain the language they spoke at that particular moment. He felt it, and he knew she felt it too. “Why did you have to leave me behind? Why do you have to disappear when everything was so perfect for both of us? Why do I have to see you now with him? You could have stayed; life would not have been like this for both of us. If only I could turn back time and say the things that could change all this, I would. I should have been a little braver, we could have been together. We could have...” As he spoke to nothingness, the thought wounded him deeply. He turns around and walks away.
As if the winds conveyed his message to Aeneah... in her thoughts she silently answered him...
“I could have stayed if you said you needed me to. All you had to do was ask. I could have given you more than what you wanted me to. I left because I was scared, you scared me. I never believed that dreams could come true, not until that day you came and made it all real for me. I was afraid of my own feelings, I was afraid that if I make them real, you’d go away and I would be waking up in a dream. I guess destiny made its own web of magic for both of us. Nevertheless, thank you. I’m grateful that you’re the reason of the many unexpected changes in my life, thank you for being my reason for feeling loved, being in love, and for loving again. You were my reason for picking up my sword to fight through what I was scared of, and for giving up to what I hoped for. I am grateful that once in my life I met you, for that moment in my life which I felt the complexity of being complete, for truly loving someone. For letting me believe that fairytales do come true, that dreams can be realized, that a prince always finds her princess, and that love can rest on its righteous place. You will always remain to be my fairytale, my ever after, the one story I would not tire telling the world about, the only truth that existed in my own realm of mendacity. If life took a turn and offered me a choice, I would still choose you; no one could have changed me better than you did, Khali. In my memory and in the hidden depths of my soul, I would forever cherish what we had.” And with that she caught sight of him for the last time, she watched as he walks away in the grassy park, the sun’s brightness outshined her eyes and when she looked up again she caught no sight of him, and for the last time she felt the pang of loosing him… Again.
Princess Aeneah woke up in the middle of the night, dazed of what she had just dreamt. She slowly got up, walked towards her porch, and gazed up to the sky. She saw the same star flicker its light again, “I now know what pain is father, I understand now why Love is complex on Earth.” She said in a whispering voice as she gestured a hand over her heart. Still looking up in the sky, gazing at the star that shines the brightest, to the star her father calls Earth, the Princess said in a teary voice, “You would forever be my star Khali, my Prince.” The Princess has finally found the answers to all her questions, the prince he had longed seek for.
--- 0 ---
In our lives, there is that certain someone we could never forget, no matter how hard we try. Sometimes most of us learn to move on and yet do not have the power to eradicate the memories of our past, maybe that is why most of our memories become shadows of the past, they are remembered because they become an inherent part of who we are.
There are dreams that we want to be realized, dreams that we desire to revere forever, and dreams that we choose to keep on the realm of our unconscious minds.
When two people are bound for each other, the universe conspires to unite these two unique being. The one person who will not only satisfy but satiate, not only complete but fulfill your very existence. It’s hard to elucidate the complexity of how this all works, maybe God made it intricate on purpose not to rattle the human mind but to make us realize the essence of being alive and the nature of Love. If you have found that certain someone in your life, different from all the rest, don’t give yourself so much reason why you must fall for him, coz you might also find a million reasons to fall out of love – just learn to say the words, and fall, there is no better reason than that of the magic of falling in love. If you feel the need to hold on to someone, hold on, it’s better to hold your end of the rope than loosing it, too late to find out that someone was holding the other end for you. Your will heart will know when it is time to let go.
However, always remember that the one meant for you might not be the one you end up with, as what I have said it’s hard to vindicate the complexity of how love works. Lucky are those who found that certain person they are meant to be with, it is now up to them to make it all happen. The universe only conspires you both to cross the same path, but it is up to you to take that first step.
Simply saying, it’s all about making certain choices, choices we have to make ourselves, God made it that way to let us have the power to choose – having the free will is what makes us different from everything He created. Learn to have the ability to choose, use it in making your life better; it is a powerful instrument that we can use to change ourselves, and change how the world turns in our point of view.
If you have the found the Truth in the Eyes of Deception in this story, then you are one exceptional person. Only those who read by means of the heart can capture the very essence of its message.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006, 4:10:41 PM
