When does it begin, and how does it end?

There was a time when I use to dream of this blurry picture, a couple of times actually and every time I wake up there was always this same question that I keep on asking myself: “Who is he?” really, I mean is it possible that you keep on dreaming of someone you haven’t met or seen your entire life? This question was answered not so long ago when I stopped dreaming and started believing that that certain someone exist - my someone. The one person that we keep on dreaming about is the one person we want to be with, the one we have longed for our entire life, the missing piece in our puzzle - the one thing that could make us complete - the other half of our souls that they have been searching for their entire existence, whatever you call it, it all boils down to being “the one”. Yes, he does exist for one thing, and I can attest to that - but apart from that, finding your “the one” isn’t enough to make him your happy ending. Believe me magic takes no part in making it happen. So how do you make it a happy ending then? That’s a tricky question because you can only do two things, you can either take risks and find out if he’s really the one meant for you or you can wait in vain and let fate & destiny handle all the work - whichever you choose, choose wisely and prepare yourself for whatever pain it may cause you because it will instigate pain one way or the other - that’s the desolate reality of loving someone. How do you choose? Do you use your mind over heart or heart over mind? You use both. In making decisions, it is not wise to use neither your mind only nor your heart alone, you use both. Why? Because the mind recognizes what the heart tries to deny, and the heart gives off every emotions the mind is trying to speak. They work hand in hand together. However, sometimes it is so hard for us to use both, one way or another one would still prevail. In most cases, the mind is used in prominence over the heart because God created us as intellectual beings. Some of you may disagree to what I’ve just said, so here’s one question I dare you to answer: why do you think the mind is created directly above the heart?

Now you’re starting to think. =)

When you say, “I can’t find any reason why I love him” that alone is a part of the mind’s reasoning. However, oftentimes people deny the reasons the mind is speaking, this complicates everything that is why so many of us make the same mistake over and over again. Many of us fall and cry for all the same reason as before - a sad reality we could never escape from. As we all know, we can never escape reality that is why as individuals we learn to cope up with it. Then how do you cope up from all the falling and crying? How do you get up after that enormous fall you had? One thing we humans normally do, after a painful experience is that we cry. Crying is a good thing actually apart from all of you who haven’t tried it yet. It is the best exercise one can have after having that heartbreak. Do whatever it pleases you to bring out your emotions - drink if you must, slap someone if it makes you feel better, scream for all you care; just let it all out, let the wind take all the sorrows of your broken heart, be somewhere far if you feel the need to. After all of this believe me, crying would no longer be such a big issue - people do get tired from all that crap after all. If you must know, our heart is only the only broken thing that still works. That is why people always move on after a heartbreak, ready to love and be hurt all over again.

So am I saying that your so called ‘the one’ can do all of this to you? Can he make you and break you all at the same time? Yes, he can. He would be the only one that can cause enormous changes and immeasurable pain in your life. As what I have heard, learned and experienced, love can mend your broken pieces and can shatter them all at once. It is like an instinctive craving that we humans have, a need that we must satiate ourselves and if we do not find this, we seek out like hunters desperate to have a taste of their own prey.

Insensitivity is not an innate attribute of human beings; it is learned and acquired through experience. We learn to be hard not because we want to but because we choose to. We feel the need to protect ourselves from whatever it is out there that threatens to break us into pieces. We learn to build walls just to protect us and keep that certain boundary against other people. Often you get wrong impressions, people think and say many things about you - most of which are the negative ones. However, I learned that it is still a good thing because you can easily distinguish those who are willing to climb your wall just to be with you and those who are trying to break you. On the other hand, what if someone broke your wall without you noticing it? Who and why? Only one person can do such a tremendous thing - the one person you least expected to, the one you thought was your happily ever after. He would be the only person who got to you that close and gracefully breaks your wall without you perceiving it. And why you ask? Because he can and he will if he chose to. That is why after all the loving ends; it always leaves you empty, bleeding, and unshielded from everything you’ve feared from in the first place. Your wall was the only thing that protected you from everything, and now that it’s broken, you feel the sense of vulnerability of being unprotected. You thought that he would be the one who would protect you from all of this, thought that he’d be the one to fight for you – so you thought as any woman did.

In the end, others can’t blame you if you are insensitive at times, why you are so hard to understand, why you did the things you did. Why you chose to live the life you’re living now, why you chose to love the people you’ve loved, why you let certain things happen, and why you let go of some things and some people in your life - all because you chose to. Failing, falling, being hurt and wounded is not an easy thing to go through. We have to do things and make certain choices in our lives to move on. Some of us may be bitter, harsh, and cynical after all the pain we’ve been through, it is a choice that we’ve made on our own, and people can’t do anything about it. When people say that you’ve changed it is just because you’ve stop living your life their way. Whether we like it or not it is all about making certain choices, either right or wrong we make our own choices.

Many of them may have their own point of view of who you are, what they see is only half of who you truly are. You are the only one who genuinely know who you are inside out; people only see what you want them to see. That is why there are certain parts in our lives that we keep to ourselves, we do not have the responsibility to impart every aspect of our individuality to other people, we do not always give them reasons to every decision we make, we are autonomous individuals, we have the choice not to.

Life is like a wild chase - some may have sustained the chase of finding who you truly are (those are your true friends and family). As expected they will continue to embark on your chase of life and only the genuine ones survive.

If you are willing to take that step towards the chase of finding someone be prepared to indulge yourself and endure the longest hunt in your life - coz that’s the beauty of truly knowing someone, like the art of hunting – it maybe long but in the end you’ll surely catch your prey. Never give up the chase if you know that you already found your prey, never let others dictate you how to hunt – you’re the only one who knows your prey, the only one who knows how it moves and how to seize it at the right moment.

Pr3cious Soup For the Soul
Wednesday, December 13, 2006, 6:10:18 PM